When Will I Start Feeling Better? Grieving for the First Time
When Will I Start Feeling Better? Grieving for the First Time
One of the most devastating experiences we must endure in life is grieving the loss of a loved one. Although we intellectually understand that death is an inevitable part of life, nothing can truly prepare us for the emotional devastation of losing someone dear to us. The first experience of such a profound loss can be overwhelming, leaving us struggling to comprehend the finality of the separation. Grief can manifest in various emotions, including anger, anxiety, depression, and even physical symptoms like fatigue or insomnia.
Understanding the Grieving Process
Grief is a deeply personal journey, and no two individuals experience it in the same way. While Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) are widely recognized, they do not apply universally. Some people may not go through all five stages, while others may experience them in a different order or revisit certain stages multiple times.
There is no specific timeline for grief, and healing takes time. The duration of mourning is not a reflection of how much you loved the person who passed. At the same time, avoiding grief altogether by burying yourself in work or distractions can lead to prolonged suffering. The healthiest way forward is to allow yourself to fully experience your emotions—cry when you need to, laugh when you feel like it, and seek support when necessary.
Practical Ways to Cope with Grief
If the sorrow you are experiencing feels overwhelming, there are several activities that can help you process your emotions in a healthy way:
Schedule time to grieve. If you find that you are spending excessive amounts of time feeling sad, consider scheduling a dedicated time to cry and reflect. Giving yourself an hour to fully experience your emotions can help prevent feelings from becoming unmanageable. When the hour is up, take a deep breath, wash your face, and engage in a self-care activity.
Honor your loved one’s memory. Finding ways to commemorate your loved one can be a comforting way to keep their spirit alive. This can be through donating to a charity in their name, volunteering, planting a tree, creating a scrapbook, or preparing their favorite meal. Honoring their life in a meaningful way can provide a sense of connection and healing.
Write down your thoughts and feelings. Journaling can be a powerful tool for processing grief. Writing a letter to your loved one or keeping a grief journal allows you to express emotions that may be difficult to say out loud. Over time, this practice can help bring clarity and peace.
Practice mindfulness and meditation. Engaging in meditation, prayer, or other mindfulness exercises can provide comfort and a sense of grounding. Many people find solace in visiting their place of worship, reading spiritual or self-help books, or simply sitting quietly and reflecting on the positive memories they shared with their loved one.
Stay physically active. Exercise is a natural stress reliever that can help release built-up tension and improve your mood. Going for a walk, practicing yoga, swimming, or even dancing can provide both physical and emotional relief. Choose an activity that feels right for you and aligns with your energy levels.
The Role of Counselling in Grief Recovery
While grief is a natural response to loss, prolonged and unresolved grief can significantly impact your daily life and mental health. If you find yourself struggling to function, feeling isolated, or unable to move forward, a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) can offer much-needed support and guidance.
Therapy provides a safe and compassionate space to explore your feelings, express your pain, and develop healthy coping strategies. A trained counselor can help you:
Understand and process your emotions without judgment
Identify and address any guilt, anger, or unresolved issues related to the loss
Develop personalized coping mechanisms for managing grief
Rebuild a sense of purpose and joy in life after loss
For those experiencing complicated grief—where the pain remains persistent and debilitating—counseling can be particularly beneficial. An RCC can work with you to navigate your emotions, allowing you to heal at your own pace while providing the tools necessary to regain a sense of stability and hope.
Moving Forward While Keeping Your Loved One’s Memory Alive
Although losing someone you love is one of the hardest experiences in life, it is important to remember that their impact on you will never fade. You are forever changed because of them, and their memory lives on through the way you honor them. By taking care of yourself, finding ways to cherish their legacy, and seeking support when needed, you can heal while keeping their presence alive in your heart.
Seek Support—You Don’t Have to Grieve Alone
If you are struggling with grief and need help moving forward, counselling can provide the compassionate guidance and support you need. Our team is here to help you navigate this challenging time, offering a space for healing and understanding.
You don’t have to go through this alone. Contact our office today to schedule a session and take the first step toward finding peace and healing.