How To Help Your Teen Cope With Back-to-School Stress

As fall approaches, store shelves are filled with discounted notebooks, markers, glue, and all the supplies that signal the return to school. The familiar hiss of school bus brakes will soon be heard in neighborhoods across the country as children prepare for a new academic year. While many kids might grumble about early alarm clocks and piles of homework, they often still look forward to reconnecting with friends and participating in new activities. However, for some children, the thought of returning to school stirs up significant anxiety and fear.

These fears can stem from various sources. Some kids dread the potential for bullying or even violence at school, while others struggle with the pressures of social interaction. There are also children who feel overwhelmed by the academic demands and worry about meeting expectations. These feelings of stress can make the return to school particularly challenging. Fortunately, there are steps parents can take to help alleviate some of this anxiety.

Ask Them What’s on Their Mind

While some children may openly express their concerns about going back to school, many will keep their worries to themselves. If your child isn’t volunteering information, it’s important to start the conversation by asking how they feel about school starting again. Try to avoid asking direct or overwhelming questions, which might shut them down. Instead, make a leading statement that invites them to share their thoughts, like, “Seeing your friends every day will be cool, but I imagine there’s also stuff you’re not looking forward to...”

If your child doesn’t respond immediately, don’t be discouraged. Give them space and revisit the conversation later. The key is to create an environment where they feel safe opening up when they’re ready. When they do express their concerns, focus on listening without judgment. Show empathy, and avoid rushing to solutions or dismissing their worries.

Get Them Involved

For many children, summer offers a sense of freedom where they get to make their own decisions. Returning to school can feel like a loss of that autonomy, which can contribute to their anxiety. To help counter this, involve your kids in the back-to-school process from the very beginning. Hold a family meeting without distractions—no smartphones or TVs in the background—and discuss the upcoming school year.

Together, plan out schedules for homework, extracurricular activities, mealtimes, and bedtime routines. Giving your child a say in how their schedule is structured helps them feel more in control, making the transition back to school less daunting. Once you’ve established a plan, write it down and post it somewhere visible, like the fridge, so everyone knows what to expect.

Talk About Bullying

Bullying is a major concern for many children, regardless of their age. To ease your child’s fears, bring up the topic in a straightforward, non-threatening way. You might say something like, “Bullying is really common, but it’s never okay, and it’s never the victim’s fault. If you ever experience it or see it happening, I want you to tell me about it, and we’ll figure out a plan together.”

By initiating this conversation, you’re giving your child permission to talk about bullying openly and ensuring they know they can come to you for support if they encounter any problems. This proactive approach can alleviate some of their anxiety by showing them they won’t have to deal with such issues alone.

Seek Professional Help if Necessary

For some children, back-to-school anxiety isn’t just a temporary concern—it’s part of a larger issue related to anxiety or depression. If your child consistently shows signs of distress and struggles to cope with the pressures of returning to school, it may be helpful to seek professional guidance. A therapist can work with your child to identify the root causes of their anxiety and provide them with effective coping strategies.